I received the final proof of my story, “A Silly Little Thing,” which is to appear in the See You Next Tuesday anthology of short sex-themed stories. What a riot!

Here’s the opening paragraph of my story:

Iris fell in love with George because he didn’t let cybersex interfere with his punctuation or grammar. He always typed with two hands and kept every finger poised over the keyboard as he’d learned in the touch-typing course he took prior to his doctoral studies. He’d taken the course to aid rapid drafting and redrafting of his research work and had since remained chained to the robotic accuracy of touch-typing, even during cybersex.

I sought out advice on How To Read A Novel and found some at eHow.

In short, one should start with the blurb on the back and inside covers, then one should proceed to the Table of Contents. However, not many contemporary novels have a Table of Contents, but there was no advice given as to what to do when one cannot find a Table of Contents. It is difficult to know what to do when one consults a How-To guide only to find that it doesn’t apply. I pushed on regardless.

Next, one should make a list of the characters that appear in the story, because all characters, whether they seem important or not, whether major or minor, may appear later in the story when one has forgotten about them. One should also read with a highlighter in one hand so as to be able to highlight all the “interesting, important or repeated” points. The idea of repeated points I found interesting in itself. One must also “pay attention to dialogue” because characters reveal a lot about themselves when they open their big mouths. I wonder if this is true. I imagine that more is revealed about a character by the things he/she does not say, but instead, thinks, though that is difficult to relay in a novel because how is a narrator supposed to know. And then this: “make notes on what characters actually do in comparison to what they say.” Why? Because there is a lot revealed by actions that don’t match the words said.

This How-To article renewed my faith in reading the novel. I had, I must admit, become indifferent to the form, unable to read, prone to giving up on novels, sheepishly returning them to my bookshelf with the dark, dark secret of having being only half read. I came to love only one novel, my own, but that novel was still being written. This eHow How-To has renewed my faith.

And there are more tips!

I should:

Keep the novel handy.

Find a novel that suits my interests and personality.

Find a novel that does not suit my interests and personality and gender so as to broaden my knowledge of the world.

Find a novel written by someone of the opposite gender.

Find a novel that will maintain my interest.

Choose a novel that intrigues me.

Not read a novel when I am tired.

Not read a novel when there is an easier version available, e.g. Cliff’s Notes or a movie version.  

Read several novels at once.

Keeps snacks at hand.